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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Determined to crack the World of Twitter!

I have had a twitter account for months and months now but everytime I try and go on it I just end up leaving it again because I can't get my head around it! I love Facebook...probably too much... but Twitter just confuses me! I need a twitter tutor, anyone care to apply?!

Also, feel free to follow me by clicking on the icon below:


A new me for a new start....

So, if you have been following this blog from the start you will know that I started with a post on a new me for a new year back at the start of January. Since then, I have changed my hair...again... and went down to my target weight, on target... and I have pretty much finished my degree which feels amazing! Now I want to make some further changes, these are:

1. Tone up my 'mum tum' and other wobbly bits
2. Finish my dissertation
3. Begin my Event Portfolio, link with other businesses and start organising events for free to gain experience
4. Become more confident in myself
5. Change my makeup to a more natural, summery style
6. Find my dream home for me and Cameron next year
7. Grow my nails
8. Start a proper beauty regime
9. Make more of an effort to see friends and family
10. Start going to more groups with Cameron (and networking for business)

I am most excited about number 1 as I love the feeling I get after exercising, but haven't found much time lately with exam revision. This is the new start I needed and I am looking forward to starting tomorrow, June 1st! (mid year resolution!)

I've finished uni!!!!!

Ok, so I still technically have to finish my dissertation which I have an extension on, but I have actually finished uni and no longer have to go to any more lectures, seminars or exams in my life!

The relief walking out of the exam hall today was immense, I couldn't stop smiling. I went to have my highlights done straight afterwards and had a great time chatting away to the hairdresser like we were old friends, it was great! I walked to meet my flatmate and we bought pizza, wine, chocolate and strawberries for tonight.

We aren't joining our coursemates on a night out to celebrate the end of our degree but instead, in our pjs watching films and having a carpet picnic and a pamper. Relaxxxxxxing as best I can with a 9 month old pulling DVDs out of the cupboard.....again!

Monday, 30 May 2011

Breaking Up is hard to do......

Ok so I am sat in bed watching The Break Up on the ps2 that I finally set up (yes after 9 months of living here!), trying to relax before my exam tomorrow and it got me thinking about my own break ups and the tips I would share with my friends, and you, my readers.

 So here they are, my break up tips (not to be taken seriously as you may know I am still not 100% over my latest ex):

1. I have heard that it takes you the length of the relationship you were in to get over it. So, if you were together for 3 months, it should be 3 months before you feel yourself again and for 7 months, 7 months. Of course, it has to stop somewhere and I think after it goes into years, it dramatically rounds down!

2. I definitely think a night in with a good friend is the first port of call. When you are still at the stage of crying at the mere memory of him then you are not ready for a night out or getting 'under' someone new, after all you don't want to start crying all over him mid orgasm, do you?! Get the ice cream in, and the pizza too and put some comedy films on. Not rom coms though, you don't want to cry more than you need to!

3. Make sure you have one friend who will not mind being cried to at all hours. This friend should be one that you would do the same for. It is also necessary that this person is strong enough to tell you with no uncertatinty that you cannot phone your ex, facebook stalk your ex or sit staring at photos of you two together and consider jumping out the window!

4. Once the random bursts of tears have stopped you can emerge from your hidey hole and go for the ultimate girls night out. This is especially exciting if you had been together for longer than 6 months. Make sure the friends you go with are as up for a night out as you are or you will only end up feeling even worse when you end up back home before midnight after they decided to go home. You need to pre drink to get into the right mood for dancing and when you are out, you need to prevent yourself from looking at your phone every few minutes. That isn't going to get the hot guys over to where you are standing...


5. I do not encourage rebound flings, but if it is for you then why not? I definitely think that having a casual fling after a relationship is better than getting straight back into a new relationship with leftover baggage from the last one... I usually end up going back to an ex who is more a 'friend with benefits', this isn't necessarily advisable for everyone, but tends to work for me. It's safe and easy, so why not?

6. I think the final step in getting over a man is definitely having the strength to delete every part of him from your life. By all means keep a photo or two of you tucked away in a memory box somewhere if you are one for memories, but delete them off your laptop files, delete his number, his email address, his photos from your phone. Delete emails and texts from him. Once you are ready to delete him from your life, you are ready to move on and, if it was you want, ready to find somebody new.

I had the strength to delete my ex from my phone, and there were only ever a couple of photos of us around anyway so that was easy. Out of the blue I got a text from him a couple of weeks ago, after a long time with no contact. If he hadn't of put his name at the end of the message, I doubt I would have even known who it was. Everyone was telling me not to speak to him, and I almost didn't. But I just couldn't help myself and I replied. But I did learn something from this. We exchanged a few texts and it felt a little like nothing had changed, but it had changed. I no longer feel so attached to him, that if he doesn't text for days I don't know what to do with myself. I have realised that I can give or take him speaking to me again. I don't need him anymore. I am stronger now....

Talking about the film though, I love it, right up until the end. Without ruining it if you have yet to see it, I just don't like the end at all and feel it should end differently! That annoys me, but it is a great film and I love Jennifer Aniston in it. Go watch it! Have you been through a bad break up lately? How did you get over it? I would love to hear your stories!

It's my last ever exam tomorrow!!!! please cross your fingers for me and wish me luck!!!

I can't believe this is it! 4 years I have slaved away on this course and now, apart from my dissertation, this is the last thing I have to do. I shall be so so pleased when I come out of this exam....

I am going to be even happier as I am going straight to the hairdressers to have my highlights done! Tomorrow evening I am having a celebratory night with my flatmate as she goes back home Wednesday. We are going to have some wine and some takeaway and a pamper, fun fun fun!

Will be such a relief... Not going to start dissertation until the end of the week so this is going to mean a few days of complete freedom.


A slight change of plan....

Ok so as you probably heard by now, I have been wanting to set up my own events business asap for ages!

My business card!
I still want to do that, but I have been thinking and come to a realisation that it simply doesn't make financial sense to just start a business when I
a) don't have enough experience to gain enough clients yet and
b) would have barely any money coming in, have a baby that needed childcare and any money from the government would be cut at the first mention of owning a business...

So.... I have come to a decision on a slight change of plan that will combat both these issues. I am going to take a GAP YEAR!!

Yes, this is usally something you do between school and uni and involves either working and then travelling or just travelling the entire year. Not very practical with a baby you say? Well luckily I never had the travelling across the World bug, that was my brother and he has been there, done that and got the t-shirt (and the £1000 phone bill, but that's a story for another day!).

Drop a pin?

I will be travelling as part of my gap year, but only across the UK. I aim to visit people I have neglected this year, friends and family across the country who would benefit from a bit of Emma and Cameron loving. I haven't worked out who I will be visiting, so haven't looked into where I will be going exactly (though some definite places include my dad and sister in Essex and Katie and Louise in Kent, along with my family who live there). I aim to spread the travelling out a bit, as it doesn't need to all be done at once. This way I can save up some pennies and visit for a few days at a time.

I am actually so excited about this idea that I KNOW it is right for me. It had not crossed my mind to take a step back and actually breathe and live a little before getting tied down in one place forever more with the responsibilities of an actual business.

I will, however, be starting things up slowly for my business, encorporating business into my travel, which enables me to be flexible and arrange events all the way across the UK if necessary. I will be offering a free event planning service to friends, family and friends of friends, as well as advertising myself as somebody gaining experience for free. I aim to build up a portfolio from these events as well as happy testimonials which will be a good tool for when I actually set up my business properly next year!

A portfolio will show my experience in planning events!

I also aim to take lots of photos of my travels and experiences to entertain all my readers of my blog, it should be interesting times ahead!

I love taking photos!!
Do you have any ideas of places me and Cameron could visit next year? Or know of anyone who could hire a free event planner between September 2011 and May 2012? Get in touch!

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Book Review: I Heart New York (no spoilers)

Around a month ago I was asking around for ideas on what I could put on my birthday wishlist and I decided I wanted to get some new books as I haven't read any in ages. A few people suggested the I Heart... series by Lindsey Kelk and I had previously heard good things as well so thought I would give them a go. I am so glad I did! My friends Abi and Georgie bought me both I Heart New York and its sequal, I Heart Hollywood and I have just finished reading I Heart New York.

From first impressions of the cover I was already more than impressed. As girly as it may be, I always go for the bright, colourful, pretty pastel covers of books when I choose my 'chick lit' (this obviously doesn't apply when I am choosing horror books, my other favourite genre). This book has a pink, lilac and blue colour theme going on and has a picture of a girl with a map and a travel bag entering the city. The tag line reads: 'When you're running away from heartbreak, there's only one place to go...'. I love this! I would love to go to New York as soon as possible so to me this sounds like heaven. I never really read the backs of books as I feel, like the back of a DVD, it can ruin the storyline if you already know roughly what is going to happen. Instead I just started reading...

Now, I am not going to lie to you, this book took me a little while to read! I started it just after my birthday and have only just finished! This is not because I am a slow reader, in fact I am really fast, but it is because I barely get five minutes to myself at the moment with Cameron and with my unu revision. So, slowly but surely I have been going back to it now and again. This hasn't made a huge difference with the book, though I would have preferred to have been able to read it all within a day or two as it is seriously a page turner! I have had to pry myself away from it at the risk of being a zombie the next morning...

Lindsey Kelk is a great writer and manages to draw you into the story and into New York. As I say, I have never been to New York, the closest I have been is watching episodes of Friends, but this book has made me feel like I have actually been there and experieced what the character in the book has! You also feel a connection to the main character and find yourself desperate to find out what happens with her throughout, especially as you near the end of the book. It has definitely been a good distraction and escape from my boring uni revision these past couple of weeks and I actually cannot wait for my exam to be over on Tuesday so that I can start on I heart New York. I already know I am going to love it (though you will have to watch out for the review on it to see if this was the case!).

For anyone looking for a good summer read, or just a nice girly book to lie down with on an evening, I would highly recommend this book. I loved it. 5 stars ***** and a very happy reader!

My Summer Plans

I do like Summer as a season, but it isn't my favourite. Given the choice, I would rather have Winter, then my birthday, then winter again as I love Christmas!! This Summer is going to be a special one though as it is Cameron's first summer. I don't have too much planned at the moment due to having my extension deadline for my Dissertation being slap bang in the middle of Summer. However, these are the things I am looking forward to over the summer:

1. Finishing my degree! Once I have handed in my dissertation, sometime mid July, I will finally be free from my 4 year degree and I will feel so relieved!! This last year has been such a stress!

 2. Going on my first proper family holiday with Cameron to the Lake District! It is a 6 hour journey by car, ouch! But will be worth it as it is such a beautiful place. I did want to go abroad, but not only have I not got the money, but I also don't really see a point until Cameron appreciates it a bit more. I am hoping of going to Spain in 2012 and Euro Disney in 2013 with him :)
 3. Getting Bikini Body ready! I am feeling much more confident with my body now I have lost all the weight I wanted to and am under my pre pregnancy weight. I still want to tone up more though so will be getting on the Wii and going for lots of walks to tone up and wear my bikini with a smile...
 4. Spend lots of time down the beach! As I live right by the beach it is a crime not to go as much as possible. I will be walking down there to avoid the problem of no parking spaces over summer, and I will be going for it with the sandcastle making and trips into the sea with Cameron.
 5. Eating lots of Ice Cream! Yes, this doesn't really fit well with number 3... but I love having an ice cream over summer and Cameron seems to love it as much, if not more than me!
 6. I am making definite plans to meet up with as many of my online friends as possible over the summer as I NEED to meet more of them. I cannot wait!!
 7. In August I will be packing up my belongings and moving flat (not sure where to yet though!). It will be a new start for me and Cameron and I cannot wait to start our new life in a new flat somewhere, hopefully in a lovely area!
 8. I plan to take lots and lots of photos of all of this as I love having them to look back on! I cannot wait to photograph Cameron as he experiences all of the things that summer has to offer. It is going to be great!

What are your summer plans? Comment below, I would love to hear them!

Saturday, 28 May 2011

A worrying conclusion....

Watching Bridget Jones tonight, I have come acrossing a worrying realisation...

I AM Bridget Jones... yes I have the addition of a baby so I guess I will never be totally alone.. but I am so alike her and can easily see myself being like this still in a few years!

yes... this is me...
I have bad taste in men, I weigh the same as her (though to be fair I am quite a bit taller), and I, like her, spend an awful amount of time sitting around feeling sorry for myself.. Not good, not good at all!

So, I am going to rebel against this fact and change myself (yes, again, but come on, we were all getting bored of the new me from January). I am going to start some resolutions for the beginning of June (watch out for a future post on this), to signal the start of the new me to go with my new life after University.

Watch this space!

Something I overcame this week...

If you are facebook friends with me you will know I am an oversharer... I tend to write statuses that are very personal to me and reveal a lot about myself. I have lately been writing a mix of statuses, quite a lot of them have been very low. This isn't really a recent occurance, however, and has been happening on and off since just after I had Cameron.

I have bottled my emotions up to some extent though, and have point blank refused to go and talk to the doctor about how I have been feeling, terrified they would take Cameron away from me or call me a bad mother for feeling so depressed when I have a perfectly happy and healthy baby. I am of course so grateful my baby is fine, and I love him to bits, but it has been a huge struggle to cope with the massive changes that your body and mind go through when you have a baby, especially as I am not very old and Cameron was an unplanned pregnancy, leaving me as a single mum.

I started feeling very low when Cameron was only a couple of weeks old but was sure this was just the 'baby blues' and hoped it would pass. It didn't, and instead I got worse and worse, but then sometimes better. Writing this blog has really helped me as I find writing about my life is therapeutic and lets some of my tensions out. There have been times when I have considered running away from everything, and even worse, when I have felt so unbearably sad. I have been in hysterical tears in front of my mum, begging her to take Cameron as I couldn't be the mum he needed me to be. It is hard to even admit this, because I love him so much, but I often feel like a failure, like I don't deserve him.

I have found this year almost impossible, and have wanted to quit uni so many times I have lost count. I persevered and am now almost at the end. I am going to feel so proud, but the cloud has yet to lift and I today finally managed to make the most important step and to go and seek help from the doctors. I felt a weight lift slightly when I admitted to the doctor how I had been feeling. I am dead against antidepressants but am now considering them, as I have read leaflets the doctor gave to me and feel a bit more at ease with what they are. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters to me is getting better as quickly as I can for my son. If that means taking tablets, then so be it. I am also going to get more counselling, as I had pre natal depression whilst pregnant and found this really helped me at the time to vent my huge range of emotions.

Do you want to know what finally made me see sense and make that appointment for the doctors? It wasn't my emotions, I had been feeling them for months. It wasn't my mum telling me to, as she had been doing so since I first told her how I felt. It was reading a news article about Stacey Solomon and her experiences of PND that made me realise I had it and that I needed to get help. Reading her story made me cry... a lot. It is heartbreaking having a baby but not being able to fully enjoy the experience because of how you are feeling inside. I am so glad I read the story and realised I had PND.

This is why I am now writing this blog. I may not be as famous as Stacey, but I have got a voice, and I have nearing on 100 followers, most of which I am betting are women. If I can just help one other woman out there who is feeling depressed and not realising how bad things have got, then I will be so happy. Nobody need suffer in silence as I did for 8 months. I am going to get better for mine and Cameron's sake now and I hope others out there who have undiagnosed depression, of any type, are able to take that step and start recovering from this illness.

Two more films of the Week!

I have had a bit of a film fest tonight whilst trying and failing to revise due to Cameron being unwell. So we sat and watched The Truman Show, and then once he was asleep I put on Notting Hill in the background. I love both of these films!

The Truman Show:

I have always loved this one, and my mum, who usually hates Jim Carrey loves it too. It is such a unique concept for a film and always makes you think, what if my life is all set up? Haha! It never fails to get me a bit tearful towards the end (happy tears though!). I love his last line and I love the lead up to the ending, where everything starts becoming clear to him. It is a great film to watch snuggled up in bed when it's rainy and windy outside. If you haven't seen it, see it now!!! Great film!

Notting Hill:

This is another all time favourite film. It is such a huge romantic story and after all, who doesn't dream of a celebrity falling for one of us normal people? Love the line: 'I am just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her'... I love Hugh Grant in the film and my favourite scene has to be the car scene where they go to see Anna at the press meeting, comic genius! I have not been watching it properly as have also been revising, but it doesn't matter, I know the lines off by heart now and don't even need to watch to know what is going on throughout. Girly chick flick at its best!


I was browsing other blogs, procrastinating to avoid my revision... and came across this amazing site:

It is a site that offers a box full of beauty trends each month for £10 (or you are able to just order one and cancel subsription with no obligations etc). I can no way afford a tenner a month at the moment, but the next box would be delivered mid July and that is when I hand in my dissertation and officially finish Uni as a result so have considered this a treat to myself as an end to my degree! This months box looked amazing so I have high hopes for the one I will be getting. If you want to get yours, simply follow the link above, or click here.

Friday, 27 May 2011

A to Z of moi...

Totally stealing this from Jade's blog. It's the A to Z of me :)

Age: 22, just turned... 23 is fortunately ages away as that age scares me!!
Bed Size: double... with a king size duvet on it, love my bed!
Dogs: Don't really like them tbh... but I do have this dream of owning one of the really cute ones!
Essential start of your day: I give Cameron his breakfast before anything else! But I also check Facebook (yes, I am a loser!)
Favourite Colour: Purple

Gold or Silver: Silver or white gold :P

Height: 5'7

Instruments I play: none, but used to play viola! and keyboards....

Job Title: full time mummy, full time student (though that is nearly over arggh!), and soon to be entrepreneur

Kids: One, he is my world... Cameron :)

Live: Bournemouth, Dorset on the South coast of England

Mum's name: Karen

Nickname: Fallenangel, Ermin, Jaffa, Lou Lou

Pet Peeve: bitchiness and not having the guts to say something to people's faces

Quote from a movie: In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight! -Truman Show. Love it!

Right or left handed: Right

Siblings: James, Daniel and Megan

Time you wake up: hmmm...depends on Cameron..lately around 6...and then he will sleep again until around half eight.

Underwear: sexy... always :P

Vegetables you dislike: cauliflower, mushrooms

What makes you run late: my mum!!

X-rays you've had done: teeth

Yummy food you make: curry, pasta dishes, fajitas, shepherds pie

Zoo animal: don't really like the zoo... penguins?

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