Why Date Night is Important

I don't often write about my relationship, apart from my recent updates regarding our engagement. However, I have recently been thinking about the difficulties of keeping a relationsip special during pregnancy. Let's face it, being pregnant doesn't exactly make you sexy. The first trimester saw me stop exercising because I felt too sick and tired. In fact, Tim was lucky if I made it out of bed long enough to say hello to him when he came round to see me. And being in bed all that time didn't mean more sexy time. In fact, quite the opposite happened as doing what had gotten me into that position was the last thing on my mind....

The second trimester came and I thought things would get better but the sickness remained for a few more weeks, and even after it had gone and I had gotten enough energy back to get out of bed and start attending an antenatal exercise class once a week, I still didn't feel affectionate towards my poor boyfriend (soon to be fiance). I had started showing very early on and by the middle of the second trimester I resembled a small whale (now growing to look more like a pretty large whale). My old stretch marks suddenly darkened and became much more prominent, and walking even a short distance became my Everest. Things were not looking great.

I question Tim's sanity about proposing to me when I hadn't exactly been number one girlfriend in recent months, but I am very glad he did. It has come at a fortunate time, for as I reach the end of the second trimester and can almost see the finish line, albeit very far ahead, I have regained my mojo so to speak and am starting to embrace my new pregnant figure. As a result I have become more affectionate and am feeling more loving.

I think something that has managed to keep our relationship going through the sometimes tough times during this pregnancy has been date night. This was originally going to be weekly, until I realised that this would soon start costing a lot. It is now once every few weeks and doesn't have to be fancy, in fact I prefer it to be as low key as possible now I am the size of the aforementioned whale. This week for example, Tim and I went to our local Pizza Hut and then rented a film at Blockbuster, which we watched back at my house with a bag of popcorn.

Date Night doesn't have to be too expensive, it doesn't have to be too impressive. The main thing is that we both make the effort to put aside other things in our life to spend the evening together and talk. Tim doesn't live with me yet and I often don't see him during the week, and as we don't really talk on the phone, it is nice to catch up on these nights and chat about what has been going on whilst we've been apart.

As I am often dressed in leggings and a vest top these days it is nice for me to have an excuse to stretch out one of my pre pregnancy going out tops, teamed with my trusty black maternity trousers and to pamper myself and make an effort with my makeup for Tim. It shows him that I still care and want to look my best for him, and it gives me a confidence boost.

dressed up for date night at 25 weeks pregnant

We are fortunate to have my mum who is more than happy to have Cameron for a few hours every so often to make date night possible. I hope that once the baby comes we will still be able to make time for date night as we will need the break more than ever then. so that we can truly get away from being 'mummy' and 'daddy' for a bit and just be Emma-Louise and Tim again.

Going out for date night :)

Sometimes it Lasts in Love, but Sometimes it Hurts Instead....

As a single mum, sometimes it does feel pretty lonely at night once Cameron is asleep in bed and I can't deny occassionally thinking back to when I have been in relationships. I don't want to be back with any of my exes as they are all an ex for a reason.... but it is interesting for me to look back on how each one made me a different person slightly.

My first proper boyfriend was when I was 15. I stayed with him on and off for two and a half years, despite everyone we knew thinking we should just stay away from each other. We cheated on each other, had no trust for each other and just argued most of the time, but it was young love and I wanted it to work. We split for good just after I finished my A Levels and I am so glad we did! He has turned out to be an even nastier person than when we were together now.

My second relationship started about 6 months later and was with a guy on the same course as me at University. He was totally the opposite to my ex, a 'nice' boy who treated me really well, was always polite to my friends and family etc. I was with him for 18 months, but after a year, things had changed for me and I no longer had the same feelings. So followed an awkward, awful six months of me trying to avoid spending as much time with him, still being on the same course and living ten minutes away from each other. I do feel I should have handled things in a more grown up way. In the end he cornered me after one of our end of year Uni exams and asked me how I really felt and we ended up splitting up in a very public place. It was not a great time, although we did manage to stay friends for the Summer, before his new girlfriend started resenting our friendship and put a stop to it when she threatened me when I was pregnant. I never spoke to him again after that, despite spendind a whole year in the same class for our last year of Uni.

My third relationship started about 3 months after I had split with my 2nd boyfriend. I met him on my work placement and found it very interesting to be with someone 9 years older than me. It was a long distance relationship, had zero trust (at least on my part), was probably doomed from the start... but I have always loved a bit of drama in my relationships... I found the distance thing way too hard in the end though and ended up throwing in the proverbial towel after 6 months together.

I have been single for 18 months now, and although sometimes I do feel lonely and miss having someone to share things with and just hang around with other than my son, I also feel a lot more free to be myself than I have ever felt before in any of my relationships. I am definitely in no rush to find myself a boyfriend. I am focussing on getting my career sorted out in the next 6 months and raising my son to be a better man than any of my previous boyfriends. I am not anti-men (despite what my Facebook friends may think from statuses!) but I am embracing life as a single mummy. Yes, it is hard, but what don't kill you, only makes you stronger, right?

Are you single and enjoying it? Or are you in a relationship and loving it?