What Would You Like to Be When You Grow Up?

"What would you like to be when you grow up?" It's a question often asked when you are a child and you don't often really know what you really want to be and most of the time, when answering, you will have chosen something that looks the most fun. Perhaps a fireman or a doctor. Most people don't go on to become what they 'wanted' to be as a child, whether it was an unrealistic dream or just because their likes and ambitions changed as they grew up.



My 18th Birthday party- theme was
 'what you wanted to be when you were seven'

For my 18th birthday party I held a fancy dress party with the theme 'what you wanted to be when you were seven'. The outfits ranged from serious to hilarious (somehow we had two girls who wanted to be ladybirds)! I went as a celebrity. I wanted to be lots of things when I was that age. One being a teacher, another a secretary and being famous was also quite high up there.

I think my main issue, which I have realised recently through counselling for PND, is that whereas most people leave this indecisiveness behind when they reach adulthood, I still want to do lots of things, to be lots of things and this makes it hard to focus on any one thing I set my hand to.

I love working, but right now I am unable to put the time and effort I need to into my business

Last week I had to make the difficult decision of taking a break from my events business. I was already finding it increasingly difficult to work around a very mobile Carly, but when Cameron's childcare also fell through, I realised that working around both kids week in, week out, would be near impossible and not fair on me or the kids to put us under that pressure. It has been hard as I want to be able to work, but at the same time, I am unable to afford childcare for them both in order for me to put in the time and effort the business needs. It's almost like having three kids, and unfortunately it has meant having to put the needs of the business to the back of my mind for the time being.

In the past, blogging has led to opportunities such as writing for More Magazine
and taking part in their Superfan issue

The positives to have come out of this is that I have been freed up to have a think about what my other passions are, apart from events. I have rediscovered my love of blogging, and when talking to my counsellor, I have realised that writing is what makes me happiest. I have been looking into freelance journalism and also rethinking about books that I have started writing in the past. Writing is something I love and can be slotted in to my life with relative ease.

Modelling has always been something I have loved

 

I have also set up a modelling page. As a natural born poser, I love being in front of the camera and I have really enjoyed taking part in photo shoots in the past. I wouldn't want to model full time as a career, but this is definitely something I am looking into doing in my spare time.

Ultimately, being a mum and doing things that make me happy
are what's important right now when battling with PND

As someone who has struggled in the past to come up with hobbies on my CV I am determined to understand what makes me happy outside of work and the kids, and I think these two things are definitely a good start. Ultimately being happy is most important right now in battling my PND so I am going to enjoy my break from the business by spending time with my kids, writing and modelling as well as looking at the positives in life. Life is too short not to spend it doing what makes you happy!

And who knows, this break might even help me finally come up with the answer to that all important question- "What do I want to be when I grow up?"