As you may know, or have guessed, Cameron was an unplanned baby. The story surrounding the pregnancy and his birth is complicated to say the least, and yes it would have definitely been easier if I had not had him. But to me that was not an option. I was, however, determined to stay on at Uni, and even went back only two weeks after giving birth just so I didn't fall behind with my final year.
The last year of my degree was really hard, both mentally, physically and financially. Because I was receiving a student loan, this was considered a source of income, and meant I was not given the full amount of benefits. When I completed my degree in July of this year, I had already decided to take a few months out to spend time with Cameron which I had missed out on due to me degree. So, with this in mind, I took the steps to go onto 'full' benefits, and claimed income support.
This has been the worst experience of my life. The job centre make you feel like dirt, the people who you tell you are on benefits look at you like you are dirt, every penny you spend you get judged for. I would never have chosen to go on benefits if I had a proper choice. Now, I am desperate to get back into work, to have a proper job now I have graduated, but what are my chances? Times are bleak for everyone, but how am I meant to survive on a single income, needing to pay rent, bills and on top of that childcare for Cameron which will likely be in the hundreds each week? It is just such a ridiculous system where I am actually better off to stay on benefits than to try and get a job.
It is so unfair that I want to be working, but can't see how I would be able to afford to, and yet I get people thinking the worst of me, deciding I have no ambition, putting me in the same stereotypical category as others who have made no effort all of their lives. I can't stand it.
Judge me if you will, but at the end of the day, I have a degree, a son, and the drive and determination that will get me out of this situation just as soon as I can.
I think the way the benefits system works punishes people like you who are more than happy to go out and work and come off of benefits. I am expecting our first baby in March and we both work full time at the moment and to try and work out the best options regarding childcare/work and spending time with baby are near impossible, it doesn't help that childcare is about £40 a day! :-)
ReplyDeleteYou have to do what works for you and your son!
Well said, Emma! You're quite willing to go out and work, yet you get judged. These people who judge have no idea how the world works - childcare IS expensive, and people don't seem to understand that there are so many aspects you have to consider when you have a child.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said before, I admire you for the way you're raising Cameron and for the fact you have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking!
Great post, hun xo
Again, well said! I admire you soo much for finishing your degree with Cameron, you are not a quitter, and being on benefits is something you'd rather not do but have to for the sake of looking after your son to the best of your ability.
ReplyDeleteNo one has a right to criticise that until they know the full story. Yes some people sit on their backsides getting benefits but that is because they can't be bothered to work, but you do have ambitions, and one day you will be able to turn around to anyone that has criticised you or looked down on you for being on benefits and just be proud that you have succeeded :) xxx
Thanks girls for such lovely comments xx
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