How Hard Can Getting a Child's Passport Be?

The answer? Near impossible apparently! Yesterday I was searching holidays to Spain on a spur of the moment 'I need a summer holiday before I can't fly' moment. I found a great deal and started lusting over the sunny blue skies and perfect pools of the Costa del Sol when I suddenly remembered the forms upstairs in my bedroom drawer that I never filled in.

Cameron has no passport....

So started the epic mission that is getting a child's first passport. First I had to check with his dad that he would let me take him out of the country, then I had to get all of his information and fill in the lengthy and confusing form which for some reason also insists that I provide the information of both sets of grandparents and their marriage dates (what decade are we living in?!) before I could even get to the task of having his photos taken.

This of course was when the real stress began.

Have you ever tried taking a toddlers photo in a photobooth when you are four months pregnant, hot, sweaty and stressed? It is not fun. Even less fun when your son manages to look away from the camera for every shot meaning you spend £10 to get one shot right.... Then after this nightmare you get informed by the snooty cow behind the post offfice screen that the passport will definitely not get accepted with a photo that is 'the wrong size'. How can it be the wrong size? I took it in a passport photobooth for Christ's sake! Apparently children under five should be photographed by a professional photographer....

So off I go to find one of these, by which time I am more than stressed, almost at the point of tears in fact. Cameron then decides to have a huge tantrum and hysterical crying fit when placed in front of the camera. With time running out and even the bribe of chocolate buttons not having the desired effect, I thought all hope was gone but somehow he managed to stand on his own for just long enough to produce a suitable photo, albeit of a snotty, red faced child who barely resembles my usually cheerful son...

I went to collect the photos this morning and am crossing my fingers and toes that they will accept this photo. I cannot face going through this impossible mission again.... It's times like these I wish I wasn't on a wine ban!

Things You Should Know about Toddlers

I have posted previously about things I have learnt since having a newborn, and since having a young baby. Cameron is now 17 months and the bar has been raised yet again. For any mummies out there approaching toddler territory, or fellow mums already in the thick of it, here is my rundown of the biggest shocks I have come across (all to be taken lightheartedly!)....

1. You will end up knowing the words to shows such as In the Night Garden and Fireman Sam off by heart and will probably start singing them to yourself even when your little one is nowhere in sight.

2. Mummies to little boys, you may have survived up until now without being peed on but there is an even higher risk once your toddler decides they want to start using a potty....

3. Those toys you used to wish your baby would play with back when a cardboard box was more interesting? You will be harbouring secret plans to find and destroy each and every one of them if you hear one more chorus of "1,2,3,4,5 all aboard the counting train" at half six in the morning.

4. Bathtime is fun. Getting out of the bath time not so much....

5. Remember watching that advert on TV with the woman getting on the floor and banging her fists and screaming to stop her little boy from having his tantrum in the supermarket? Remember thinking to yourself, who in their right mind would actually resort to that? Yeah, that could be you soon. Believe me, when it happens, all rational thoughts go out of the window and you just want the screaming to stop right away!

6. Gone are the days you could shove a whole sharing size bar of Dairy Milk in your mouth when you were having a bad day. The eating of chocolate, or indeed any 'bad' food, must be carried out like a military operation. Your child is playing happily with a toy? Go, go, gooooo!! Believe me, if they catch you eating it, they will want it, a lot more than those healthy raisins in their hand.

7. Be prepared for your adorable baby to suddenly change into the child from the omen complete with evil eyes and strops that definitely resemble a demonic possession. They may hit, bite, punch, slap and headbutt you to within an inch of your life, but trust me, they love you really.

8. The rivalry between mums you may have come across when your baby was younger will still be there with statement such as "My little one has been sleeping through the night since they were only a few days old", "I don't ever resort to using calpol/bonjela/cough mixture on MY child" and "We only eat all organic, freshly sourced foods in our house" being the weapons of choice. Who cares if you aren't 'doing it by the book'?! Every child is different and you always know best.

9. If you were lucky enough to have a routine from an early age, this could all be disrupted by something as minor as a cough, cold or yet another tooth coming through. Bigger changes such as moving house could mean having to start from the beginning again.

10. Don't spend too much time comparing those children the same age as your own especially when looking at developmental milestones such as walking, talking and potty training. Every child is unique and will get to these milestones at a different point. Cameron didn't walk until he was 11 months old and I was all set for calling up the health visitor as I walked at 9 months and thought he was unable to do it!

No matter how many hard times there are raising a toddler, I wouldn't change Cameron for the world.

Every day he amazes me. I love him so much!