Things I wish someone had warned me about before I became a Mummy!

When I fell pregnant, I was given a lot of 'helpful' advice from those who had babies.... Things like how painful the birth would be and their horror labour stories (yeh, thanks for that!), their self inducement tips and tricks that never worked... and my personal favourite, that classic, 'be patient, you need all the rest you can have right now 'cos when that baby comes you won't get a chance to relax!'.



This last one pissed me off no end, mainly as I was hot, irritable and impatient as hell! Now, I wish I had listened, at least to the last one.... because it is TRUE!! You don't get a spare second for the first few months of their lives and after that it is very few and far between!

Below is a list of other things they don't tell you before having a baby, but you will wish they had:

1. No matter how many times you have been around kids before, held them, looked after baby relatives... You will still be scared s***less when you first are alone with your newborn baby, all tiny and helpless and so delicate.

2. You will not be able to sit down without it hurting for at least a few days after the birth, walking, going to the toilet, and even just standing still will become awkward and achey. There is a huge 'dragging' sensation after birth that doesn't go away straight away...

3. You will inevitably have leaky boobs the one time you do venture out of the house after having the baby. You may even end up leant over the Wetherspoon's toilet sink as I was, literally milking yourself to relieve the agonising pressure you feel when your milk comes in!

4. You will end up getting baby poop on yourself at least once as a new mum.. If you are lucky, this will be on your finger or your arm... if you are unlikely it could be your face. You have been warned.

5. Baby boys tend to pee up into the air. Watch out for this. He will find it hilarious, you may not find it as funny..

6. No matter how many pink/blue items you put your baby in, you will have one smart ass person come up to you and say "awww how cute is your baby boy/girl" (when they are the opposite sex!)

7. Putting a babyseat in the car seems bloody easy when you are first pregnant and all excited about your little bundle of joy finally being here... Not so easy when he is here, and in your arms, screaming, and you are trying to fit the seat with one arm...

8. If you are a young mum, be prepared for dirty looks and snide comments about how young you are, kids having kids etc. If you are older, be prepared for the same looks and comments about how mum's should be young enough to run around after their babies.. You can't win ladies!

9. You will come across at least one other mum, with a baby of similar age to yours, who will constantly brag about what developmental stages their baby has reached, well in advance of the average. This woman will become your arch enemy (but only in your mind) and you will end up in a silly competition to see whose baby is walking/talking/playing a music instrument first!

10. No matter what kind of pregnancy you had, how horrific your labour was or how little sleep you will end up getting, nobody can prepare you for the feeling you get when your newborn baby is first placed in your arms. It is all totally worth it. You would do anything for that baby.
 

The Moment I met my little man for the very first time, and when my life changed forever...


To all my fellow mummies, I hope you agree and find this humourous as it was intended... To all my mummy-to-be followers, I hope I haven't scared you too much! Again, it is all meant light heartedly, you will be fine!