I don't know if you know, but 2014 was a bit of a rollercoaster ride of emotions for me. By the time December rolled round, with all the changes over the past few weeks, I was more than ready for a fresh start and, with the New Year just around the corner, a time made for new beginnings, I was in luck.
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| 2015 is a new start for me and my wonderful boyfriend Ed |
I had planned on starting the new year seeing it in with a glass of the fizzy stuff and my boyfriend Ed by my side for a festive midnight kiss. As always with me, things didn't quite go to plan when we went to a party and I drank a little too much, a little too quickly and subsequently, instead of the romantic kiss, what Ed got was a passed out girlfriend and sleep before the clocks chimed. Bit of a disaster....
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| Drinking before even getting to the party is never a clever idea... |
From the very next day I was determined to make 2015 a better year and went in guns blazing declaring I would be eating nothing but salads and not touching a drop of alcohol for the entire month. I lasted a grand total of 4 days. It's not that I couldn't do it, if I tried, it's that the lonnnnnng month of January is a hard enough time as it is, but when you add the life changes I am currently experiencing into the equation, you're looking at a breakdown waiting to happen and a few glasses of wine might just take the edge off it all.
Don't get me wrong, things are happening the way I want them to. In fact, I am the happiest I have ever been. But no matter how much better my life is now, it is always a little sad to admit you made a mistake and things didn't work out. I hope that in a few weeks time when everything is final, that I can really move on in my life with Ed and my children. I am fortunate enough to have a loving and supportive family, and a couple of close friends who have stood by me no matter what. For these people, I am eternally grateful.
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| My sister has been my rock throughout the past few months |
My life has never followed the path I used to want it to. I have often been envious of those people who managed to do things the 'right' way. But recently I have come to realise that actually, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way. Life is too short to worry about the choices we are making. Yes, I made some along the way, but everything that has happened has happened for a reason and led me to where I am now, which, in case I didn't already mention, is the happiest I've ever been. So yes, I will conclude this rather rambling post with one of my favourite lines from the soundtrack to my all tine favourite Disney film, the magnificent Frozen....
"I know I left a life behind but I'm too relived to grieve.... Let it go"
2015 will be the year I finally manage to do just that and leave the past where it belongs in the past, allowing me to move on and into a brighter future for me, Ed and my two beautiful children.
Instead of unrealistic expectations or the promise of a new year, new me, this year I have gone for some sensible attitude changes in key areas of my life..
-I will have a healthier relationship with food, exercise and my body image.
-I will have more patience with people, especially as a mother.
-I will aim to spend less time on my phone and more time in the present. I will be more motivated and confident, using my bucket list as a way to force myself out of my comfort zone.
In short, I will use the fresh start to keep myself as me, only better.
Happy New Year everyone!
