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Monday, 30 May 2011

Breaking Up is hard to do......

Ok so I am sat in bed watching The Break Up on the ps2 that I finally set up (yes after 9 months of living here!), trying to relax before my exam tomorrow and it got me thinking about my own break ups and the tips I would share with my friends, and you, my readers.

 So here they are, my break up tips (not to be taken seriously as you may know I am still not 100% over my latest ex):

1. I have heard that it takes you the length of the relationship you were in to get over it. So, if you were together for 3 months, it should be 3 months before you feel yourself again and for 7 months, 7 months. Of course, it has to stop somewhere and I think after it goes into years, it dramatically rounds down!

2. I definitely think a night in with a good friend is the first port of call. When you are still at the stage of crying at the mere memory of him then you are not ready for a night out or getting 'under' someone new, after all you don't want to start crying all over him mid orgasm, do you?! Get the ice cream in, and the pizza too and put some comedy films on. Not rom coms though, you don't want to cry more than you need to!

3. Make sure you have one friend who will not mind being cried to at all hours. This friend should be one that you would do the same for. It is also necessary that this person is strong enough to tell you with no uncertatinty that you cannot phone your ex, facebook stalk your ex or sit staring at photos of you two together and consider jumping out the window!

4. Once the random bursts of tears have stopped you can emerge from your hidey hole and go for the ultimate girls night out. This is especially exciting if you had been together for longer than 6 months. Make sure the friends you go with are as up for a night out as you are or you will only end up feeling even worse when you end up back home before midnight after they decided to go home. You need to pre drink to get into the right mood for dancing and when you are out, you need to prevent yourself from looking at your phone every few minutes. That isn't going to get the hot guys over to where you are standing...


5. I do not encourage rebound flings, but if it is for you then why not? I definitely think that having a casual fling after a relationship is better than getting straight back into a new relationship with leftover baggage from the last one... I usually end up going back to an ex who is more a 'friend with benefits', this isn't necessarily advisable for everyone, but tends to work for me. It's safe and easy, so why not?

6. I think the final step in getting over a man is definitely having the strength to delete every part of him from your life. By all means keep a photo or two of you tucked away in a memory box somewhere if you are one for memories, but delete them off your laptop files, delete his number, his email address, his photos from your phone. Delete emails and texts from him. Once you are ready to delete him from your life, you are ready to move on and, if it was you want, ready to find somebody new.

I had the strength to delete my ex from my phone, and there were only ever a couple of photos of us around anyway so that was easy. Out of the blue I got a text from him a couple of weeks ago, after a long time with no contact. If he hadn't of put his name at the end of the message, I doubt I would have even known who it was. Everyone was telling me not to speak to him, and I almost didn't. But I just couldn't help myself and I replied. But I did learn something from this. We exchanged a few texts and it felt a little like nothing had changed, but it had changed. I no longer feel so attached to him, that if he doesn't text for days I don't know what to do with myself. I have realised that I can give or take him speaking to me again. I don't need him anymore. I am stronger now....

Talking about the film though, I love it, right up until the end. Without ruining it if you have yet to see it, I just don't like the end at all and feel it should end differently! That annoys me, but it is a great film and I love Jennifer Aniston in it. Go watch it! Have you been through a bad break up lately? How did you get over it? I would love to hear your stories!

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