Wednesday, 6 April 2011
30 Day About Me Challenge: Day 11: A letter to one of your exes.
When I met you I thought that it would be a quick fling as it was so impractical to stay together. We lived miles apart from each other and there is a massive age gap between us.... But we stayed together for 6 months and most of the time, at least to begin with, I was happy. It was tough though, managing to see each other when we were both busy, and even harder when I no longer had a job so I spent too long on my own with time to think.
The time we did have together was amazing and I really enjoyed being with you...but there were too many times you let me down, some unavoidable, others not so much. I cried way too much over you in such a short amount of time. We never said we loved each other, though we did after we had split up. The relationship was messed up as I never trusted you because you never gave me reason to trust you, always being secretive with your phone, not having me on Facebook, the infamous stalker girl who 'wasn't an ex'. You never let me into your world back home, I didn't meet friends or family and as far as I know most of them never even knew I existed.
I split up with you because I didn't want to fall for you any more than I already had as I didn't want to get hurt...but I started regretting it afterwards. Then followed the last messed up year. I won't go into details...but I will say that things never stood a chance after what went on. I still find it really hard not having you as part of my life anymore, as even though we broke up a long time ago now, we went through a lot together and I shared things with you that I have never shared with anyone else before or after. It hurts to know that you don't want me in your life anymore, but it also hurt me how you acted a lot of time last year, so maybe now things are even, I don't know.
All I do know is that I will never truly move on until I let you go.