Wednesday, 19 January 2011
Cameron's Story: Chapter 2: the first couple of months
Over the next couple of months I adjusted to becoming a mum properly. Eventually my mum was allowed to go home, though I often found myself calling her for help or advice and sometimes turning up to stay over at hers when things got too much! I suffered from the baby blues and had moments where I would panic I wasn't enough for the tiny baby in my arms. I even once found things so hard that I broke down in hysterical tears in front of my mum and said I couldn't cope with everything. But, despite being sure I would due to having been depressed in the past and during pregnancy, I didn't get postnatal depression. I found things really hard to cope with regarding my ex boyfriend, and often cried about him, which I now regret. Overall though, I settled into uni and being a mummy.
As I was breastfeeding, I would only be able to stay at the campus for a maximum of two hours before getting back home to breastfeed. It was exhausting and meant I was unable to really commit to group work, so ended up having to do a seperate coursework from everyone else.
Cameron had his first set of jabs and was quite unsettled afterwards, crying a lot and being genuinely unhappy. It was so hard to see him so upset and not be able to do anything other than hold him and give him calpol. Luckily, within a few days he was back to his old happy self. From a really early age, a couple of weeks old, Cameron was holding his head alone and looking around. He has always been a really nosey baby wanting to know what's going on at all times! Cameron had an allergic reaction early on and we tried a few creams prescribed from the doctor which only made it worse. His rash was all over one side of his face which really showed up in photos, such a shame! He didn't seem to find it annoying or upsetting at least! Finally we found the cream that cured the rash and he looked gorgeous once again.
Cameron wasn't interested in toys at that stage but he loved to sit in his big inflatable chair and his winnie the pooh bouncer. He also began to love bathtime after an initial hatred of it! He loves the sound of water running and I would leave him on his changing mat opposite me when I was in the shower and he would lie there happily.
I got the best present ever on 22nd October, only 5 weeks after he was born, when Cameron smiled a proper big smile for me! From then on he has smiled so much, he is a really happy contented boy. He giggled for the first time a month later aged 9 weeks. Best thing ever!
I never really became comfortable with Cameron sleeping in his moses basket as I would constantly check on him and never sleep myself for worrying. So, most of the time, he would end up in bed with me. I don't regret this decision as it allowed me to sleep and I felt an even closer bond with him being able to cuddle him at night. It also meant that I would wake instantly when he was hungry in the night. Cameron met a few of my friends over his 1st two months including another of his Godmummy's Georgie. He also saw his great auntie and cousins again, including his second cousin Spencer who's only a year and a bit older than him!