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Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Cameron: His story! Chapter 1: First few days

I've been meaning to get round to the next installment of my little boys journey into the World for ages!

These chapters of my blog will follow Cameron as he grew up in those first few months and then follow on from now (aged 4 months).

When you left us, we had just been through the trauma that is birth! And had spent the night alone in hospital.

The next morning I wasn't allowed visitors until 10am and my mum came just after then. I had been up all night so I was still exhausted. I had, painfully, managed to go to the toilet again and got changed into a baggy pair of jogging bottoms and a baggy grey top (I was thinking comfort, not fashion when packing thank God!). I didn't have a shower, despite feeling yucky and hot and bothered as I was in so much pain just walking! I was encouraged to walk around though so tried to as much as I could.

With my mum there I felt lots better as I hate hospitals! My aunt and nan came by with my baby cousin Spencer and was soon followed later that day by my other cousins and my brothers. Everyone was so excited to see Cameron. I just lay on the bed feeling knackered and slightly claustrophobic. Cameron was amazing and really well behaved from the start. He's also always been fine with other people holding him which is great!

The midwife helped me give him his first bath, which he hated! And we dressed him in a new outfit to take him home in and he looked even more gorgeous! I still couldn't stop looking at him and thinking 'wow, he's really here at last!' I was desperate to get home and saw a doctor who told me everything was fine with me. I had torn but they weren't going to give me any stitches and Cameron was checked over too and given the ok. So now all I had to wait for was for a midwife to observe me breastfeeding as that was what I said I was doing for feeding (seriously!). Because I hate hospitals and was really tired and hot and fed up and stressed by being watched the milk wouldn't come. It was so frustrating as I knew I could do it but they wanted proof before I was allowed home! In the end, after me crying loads and my mum talking to the midwife and explaining how much i hate hospitals, I was allowed home having been told about formula milk in case I couldn't breastfeed on demand.

Leaving hospital!
So me and my little bundle were able to go home at 6pm that night and went straight to sainsburys! (really!) everyone kept asking how old cameron was and were shocked when I said only a day old! I was pretty much waddling around the shop though, not fun! I was in agony and getting in and out the car hurt the most. After getting something to eat we went back to my nans house where we spent the first night, me, my mum and Cameron in one room, my nan in the other. I wasn't completely happy being alone so didn't want to be left in the flat.

That night was the worst, I was terrified of something happening to Cameron. So, despite having put him in the Moses basket to begin with, I ended up sleeping with him on my chest. I felt safer that way, but didn't end up sleeping  
1 day old
much again as I was still so nervous and as Cameron got hungry very often! I wasn't able to breastfeed very easily so ended up having to resort to a bottle of made up formula. That way at least I was able to ensure Cameron had fed enough. The next day we got in touch with the midwifes and they promised to send a midwife out to help with the breastfeeding, as it really was something I wanted to do.

That day I had to go to the hospital to have Cameron checked over again as the hospital had been so busy when he was born and he hadn't been fully discharged. He had some spots around his bum etc which had turned yellow overnight and looked angry and sore. The midwife got a doctor to look and he referred us to the childrens ward at the bigger hospital. It was awful as I had still not had a bath or even got changed again and I had a panic attack on the way to the hospital as I really hated the idea of being back in hospital. My mum told me I had to be brave for Cameron though, so I went up to the hospital and he was checked over and checked again, swabs were taken of his spots and finally, we were told that he was ok to go home and we wouldn't need to stay overnight after all. Aimee had come over in that time, so stayed with us when we left and we went shopping again!

flowers from my dad
We stayed at my nans again that night as my mum had to go back to work the next day. I stayed at my nans  
with her while my mum was at work and I managed to sleep a bit. The midwife came round my nan's and tried helping me breastfeed. I still felt useless I hadn't been able to do it. She gave me a plastic cover for my nipple with holes called a breastshield and I found this a lifesaver! Without it I wouldn't have been able to have breastfed Cameron at all. He was a lazy baby to begin with and was not wanting to work for his milk. The breast shield was more like a bottle teat so he liked feeding with it better and was able to latch on easier and with less stressing on my part. It was a miracle!! Though feeding was still hard work to start with and I did find it exhausting and stressful. After the midwife had gone, I went to visit my mum at her school and show off the baby! Everyone loved him, but i think I overdid it a bit walking too far whilst carrying the baby in his car seat (I wasn't driving yet and hadn't assembled the pram!). I was still in loads of pain walking so must have looked comical walking along the road to the school and back! That night I went back to my flat, but my mum stayed with me. It was nice to be back in my new flat with the baby but I was still feeling exhausted! I got loads of cards, presents and some flowers too which was really nice! Thanks to everyone who sent something!

Over the next few days I settled into being a mum a bit more, though it was really tough doing it alone. I am so grateful for my mum being there for me, as well as Aimee and my nan as I was so tired and wouldn't have been able to do it alone. I had a huge problem with my aftercare as I had moved from Poole to Bournemouth whilst having the baby so had to go to my nan's in Poole to see midwives as they wouldn't come into Bournemouth. Midwives kept turning up at my nans without warning me and I got really fed up!

Cameron had his heel prick test done which he was fine with, didn't even cry. He also had his hearing checked which was perfect and he was weighed and I was ensured he was putting on weight fine. I had a few visitors over the next few days and at the weekend my dad and sister came to visit from Essex. At this  
point I was STILL finding breastfeeding hard and so had expressed some milk and fed him bottles some  
few days old
of the time with that milk. I was in wetherspoons with my mum, dad, brother and sister when I ended up having to go to the toilets and express milk off as it was so painful :( I was in so much pain with it, I knew I had to persevere with the breastfeeding!

My friend Abi came back that weekend too, and moved into the flat with me. I still had my mum staying most of the time to begin with though. I was finding breastfeeding at night the hardest, so only a week into things I started Cameron on a bottle at night to help him sleep through a bit better and take the stress off me a bit.

I went back to Uni on the next Thursday, only a week and a half after having him. It was really awful leaving him for the first time, even though I knew he was in safe hands with my nan. I cried on my way out of the door and couldn't concentrate at the Uni induction. Luckily that was all we had to go in for and we were told I didn't need to go to the second induction the next day which was great news. I got back and held Cameron for ages.

I didn't want to let him go again.

with my nan
with my mum
Uncle James

With Aimee
Proud mummy!
With Abi
Auntie Megan
With Grandad

Uncle Daniel


  1. god you had such a hard time!! hes so worth it though <3 who stitched his name on the blanket? i looooove it xx

  2. my auntie bought it online personalised :) thanks hunni xx


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