These chapters of my blog will follow Cameron as he grew up in those first few months and then follow on from now (aged 4 months).
When you left us, we had just been through the trauma that is birth! And had spent the night alone in hospital.
The next morning I wasn't allowed visitors until 10am and my mum came just after then. I had been up all night so I was still exhausted. I had, painfully, managed to go to the toilet again and got changed into a baggy pair of jogging bottoms and a baggy grey top (I was thinking comfort, not fashion when packing thank God!). I didn't have a shower, despite feeling yucky and hot and bothered as I was in so much pain just walking! I was encouraged to walk around though so tried to as much as I could.
With my mum there I felt lots better as I hate hospitals! My aunt and nan came by with my baby cousin Spencer and was soon followed later that day by my other cousins and my brothers. Everyone was so excited to see Cameron. I just lay on the bed feeling knackered and slightly claustrophobic. Cameron was amazing and really well behaved from the start. He's also always been fine with other people holding him which is great!
The midwife helped me give him his first bath, which he hated! And we dressed him in a new outfit to take him home in and he looked even more gorgeous! I still couldn't stop looking at him and thinking 'wow, he's really here at last!' I was desperate to get home and saw a doctor who told me everything was fine with me. I had torn but they weren't going to give me any stitches and Cameron was checked over too and given the ok. So now all I had to wait for was for a midwife to observe me breastfeeding as that was what I said I was doing for feeding (seriously!). Because I hate hospitals and was really tired and hot and fed up and stressed by being watched the milk wouldn't come. It was so frustrating as I knew I could do it but they wanted proof before I was allowed home! In the end, after me crying loads and my mum talking to the midwife and explaining how much i hate hospitals, I was allowed home having been told about formula milk in case I couldn't breastfeed on demand.
That night was the worst, I was terrified of something happening to Cameron. So, despite having put him in the Moses basket to begin with, I ended up sleeping with him on my chest. I felt safer that way, but didn't end up sleeping
|1 day old|
That day I had to go to the hospital to have Cameron checked over again as the hospital had been so busy when he was born and he hadn't been fully discharged. He had some spots around his bum etc which had turned yellow overnight and looked angry and sore. The midwife got a doctor to look and he referred us to the childrens ward at the bigger hospital. It was awful as I had still not had a bath or even got changed again and I had a panic attack on the way to the hospital as I really hated the idea of being back in hospital. My mum told me I had to be brave for Cameron though, so I went up to the hospital and he was checked over and checked again, swabs were taken of his spots and finally, we were told that he was ok to go home and we wouldn't need to stay overnight after all. Aimee had come over in that time, so stayed with us when we left and we went shopping again!
|flowers from my dad|
Over the next few days I settled into being a mum a bit more, though it was really tough doing it alone. I am so grateful for my mum being there for me, as well as Aimee and my nan as I was so tired and wouldn't have been able to do it alone. I had a huge problem with my aftercare as I had moved from Poole to Bournemouth whilst having the baby so had to go to my nan's in Poole to see midwives as they wouldn't come into Bournemouth. Midwives kept turning up at my nans without warning me and I got really fed up!
Cameron had his heel prick test done which he was fine with, didn't even cry. He also had his hearing checked which was perfect and he was weighed and I was ensured he was putting on weight fine. I had a few visitors over the next few days and at the weekend my dad and sister came to visit from Essex. At this
|few days old|
My friend Abi came back that weekend too, and moved into the flat with me. I still had my mum staying most of the time to begin with though. I was finding breastfeeding at night the hardest, so only a week into things I started Cameron on a bottle at night to help him sleep through a bit better and take the stress off me a bit.
I went back to Uni on the next Thursday, only a week and a half after having him. It was really awful leaving him for the first time, even though I knew he was in safe hands with my nan. I cried on my way out of the door and couldn't concentrate at the Uni induction. Luckily that was all we had to go in for and we were told I didn't need to go to the second induction the next day which was great news. I got back and held Cameron for ages.
I didn't want to let him go again.