My first real head-over-heels can’t breath without them love was Charlie Simpson. Yes, Charlie Simspon from the band Busted. Nevermind the fact that he was 5 years older then me and famous, I ranted to anyone who would listen that he was ‘just a normal guy’ and once I met him, we’d get married. Okay, so after obsessing over him for about a year, I then decided I fancied Matt Willis ‘the bad boy’ more, and then finally James Bourne ‘the sweet one’. Their songs really reached out to me ; previously as a fresh faced teenager, the only thing I knew about love was what I learnt from Disney movies – when you finally get together you have that kiss, you get married and live happily ever after. But Busted taught me more. Relationships have complications, fights and romantic gestures at 3am. I soon wanted this though – although a relationship with complications and fights isn’t what everyone wishes for I figured at least it would be a real relationship.
Six years later, being in that very complicated situation I’d once hoped for – things have changed. Moving in with my on/off boyfriend after being together for only three months wasn’t romantic as it sounded. Now, having broken up, after two years we still live together..until I move back to my hometown next month and never see him again. A relationship with complications indeed has now come to a halt. The arguments, the lack of trust, the lack of communication, the lack of space – it was all very hard. And so for the first time in two years I find myself single again and well, in a kind of love triangle. Even worse.
Six years later, being in that very complicated situation I’d once hoped for – things have changed. Moving in with my on/off boyfriend after being together for only three months wasn’t romantic as it sounded. Now, having broken up, after two years we still live together..until I move back to my hometown next month and never see him again. A relationship with complications indeed has now come to a halt. The arguments, the lack of trust, the lack of communication, the lack of space – it was all very hard. And so for the first time in two years I find myself single again and well, in a kind of love triangle. Even worse.
 |
| Me and the ex before going out for my Nan's birthday - I love this photo of us |
As I’ll explain more in my next post, it’s come to me making a decision. In the past I’ve always taken chances on all the wrong people, letting them walk over me or putting up for a hell of a lot less then what I deserved. In the case of my ex, despite planning a future together, we both deserved much better then the effort we we’re putting into the relationship. Four months after the break up, dates with other people between us and singleton slowly settling in we wonder whether to give things another go or not. Yes, we had a lot of issues but we had a lot of great times too. Would we be able to work through these things, if we really tried? Should a relationship really be that hard?
The only thing is, I’ve sort of met someone else. Whilst he’s been going on endless dates on loads of girls (he was never short of the ladies wanting in), I’ve been pining on just the one person. A guy I thought was a player, a guy I thought who I could have a bit of fun with and be done with it before I finished uni and had to grow up. However, I’ve gone and done it again like I always do. I’ve started to like someone I shouldn’t, more then I should.
As I’ll explain more in my next post, it’s come to me making a decision. In the past I’ve always taken chances on all the wrong people, letting them walk over me or putting up for a hell of a lot less then what I deserved. In the case of my ex, despite planning a future together, we both deserved much better then the effort we we’re putting into the relationship. Four months after the break up, dates with other people between us and singleton slowly settling in we wonder whether to give things another go or not. Yes, we had a lot of issues but we had a lot of great times too. Would we be able to work through these things, if we really tried? Should a relationship really be that hard?
The only thing is, I’ve sort of met someone else. Whilst he’s been going on endless dates on loads of girls (he was never short of the ladies wanting in), I’ve been pining on just the one person. A guy I thought was a player, a guy I thought who I could have a bit of fun with and be done with it before I finished uni and had to grow up. However, I’ve gone and done it again like I always do. I’ve started to like someone I shouldn’t, more then I should.
| Me and my old flatmates as fresh faced freshers, one of the first times I actually enjoyed being single! |
So, what happens now? Do I take a chance on my ex, who is genuinely a best friend of mine and who I have loved deeply? Do I take a chance on him and the promises that thing’s will be different – could I get over the fact that he has seen other people? Or do I take a chance on someone who could make me happy, if only short term?
Read my next guest post for an account of how my first date went with this boy and how I finally got that 3am phonecall from my ex!
So, what happens now? Do I take a chance on my ex, who is genuinely a best friend of mine and who I have loved deeply? Do I take a chance on him and the promises that thing’s will be different – could I get over the fact that he has seen other people? Or do I take a chance on someone who could make me happy, if only short term?
Read my next guest post for an account of how my first date went with this boy and how I finally got that 3am phonecall from my ex!
Louise from http://inspire-magazine-online.blogspot.com/!
(P.S I haven't really told many people about this, but you can read a true to account - if humourous - approach of the break up as it happened here http://life-according-to-lou.blogspot.com/)
Thanks for reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment